December 1st, Advent Day 05
My friend Jane died a couple of weeks ago. It was fast. She died in less than three weeks from the onset of her illness. And all she was doing was just living her life! There was no apparent illness, no accident, nothing out of the ordinary. I feel sad and confused. I feel the loss of this friend who has been in my life since junior high school.
She was an “old soul.” As teenagers, she made sure we followed rules set out for us by parents and teachers. So, imagine our surprise when she eloped. Ben was only 17, so they kept it a secret until his 18th birthday. Oh, how she loved that young man. When she died, she had recently celebrated her 61st wedding anniversary to the love of her life. Like all of us, life had its ups and downs, good times and bad, and through it all they had each other and a love that sustained them.
I want to know why this happened to my friend. I know the technical reasons, the medical reasons. I don’t know the most important reasons. Why now? Why this quickly? Couldn’t we have had more time to wrap our heads and hearts around this life-changing event? I know this is grief – denial, bargaining, and at times acceptance.
What I do know is that Jane loved God and this is how that love showed up. She loved and cared for her mother from the time she was 16 (Miss Beatty never learned to drive) until she died two years ago at age 100. Jane loved her son who died last year from complications from burn pit exposure in Iraq. He was only 49 and her heart was broken. She loved and cared every day for her beloved Ben, and she raised a daughter who always steps up when needed – just like her mother.
As friends, we spent many summers going to the beach. We learned the Shag and danced many nights away at places like the Pad at O. D. and at White Lake where Jane’s parents had a lake house. She lived a truthful, authentic life. She was a good friend, a good mother and wife.
As I once heard Rev. Pat say, my questions, my wondering, my search for answers is God’s business. I am comforted to know that God’s got this. It is His plan and most importantly, He has got Jane in the palm of his hand. So, to my dear friend, I sing,
“On that morning when life is over
I know I’ll see your face
Every step I take, every move I make
Every single day, every time I pray
I’ll be missing you
Thinking of the day when you went away
What a life to take, what a bond to break I’ll be missing you”
By, Puff Daddy and Faith Evans